April 24, 2011

I'm fat. So?

A subject that is very close to my heart as a fat woman is the body/fat acceptance movement. I wouldn't say that I am politically involved in the movement, and nor would I say that I am hugely read on the subject, but I absolutely support the acceptance of ourselves and each other. I am strongly opposed to fat shaming and believe in the HAES principle. 

In fact, I have ended friendships if people have shown venom towards fat people, because quite frankly I don't buy that "I hate all ______ people, except you, of course!" bullshit. If you hate fat people, then you feel the same thing for me, you're just too chicken shit to tell me to my face.

So imagine my annoyance when someone makes the comment that they find it "disturbing". Oh, I'm sorry you find my body type disturbing. You know what I find disturbing? I find it disturbing that we encourage people to hate themselves, and we shame them for their appearance - often resorting to nasty comments, abuse and scare tactics. I find it much more disturbing to see people hating themselves, not accepting and loving themselves.

I find it disturbing that it is absolutely unacceptable in society to make fun of or shame someone because of their appearance... except if they're fat. If they're fat then it is absolutely acceptable because fat people are disgusting and a drain on society! Except, you know, they aren't. 

I'm not going to write a whole blog post about my hatred of assholes who think it is okay to tell fat people to starve themselves, or tell me I must eat McDonald's every meal time (except, you know, I don't), or any number of things I could talk about when it comes to people who should remove their heads from their rectums. If you want to talk about that, go check out #thingsfatpeoplearetold on Twitter. Some of the posts may astound, shock and horrify you. 

What I do want to talk about is love. I absolutely believe we should all love and accept ourselves, because we are all different and unique. We all have different size and shaped noses. We have different lips, eyebrows, hair colour/thickness/length. We all have different heights, and we all have different weights. That is it, the end. We have different weights. Naturally. There is no "healthy weight all human beings should fit into". That is bullshit. BMI is bullshit. The sooner you realise that, the happier you'll be.

So once we get our head around that, I want you to go look in the mirror. Look at that flab on your tummy, or maybe you have none at all. Maybe your ass is big and orange peel-y. Maybe it is flat and small. Maybe you have big boobs that pop out of every shirt you wear, no matter what. Maybe you have small breasts. No matter how tall or short you are, how fat or thin or somewhere in the middle you are. No matter if you have big boobs, no boobs, man boobs or wonky boobs. There is nothing wrong with the way you look. At all. Nothing. 

It is a hard concept to get your mind around. Sometimes I look in the mirror, particularly those mirrors in department store dressing rooms where I can see every inch of my body in all its steatopygian fatty glory, and I despise what I look. I scrutinise my gigantic ass which has no real separation from my thighs, the stomach that hangs over a bit, and I hate what I look like. Sometimes I think of really bad things to do to my body because of those horrible thoughts. It took me a really long time to realise it wasn't me looking through my eyes and hating what I saw... it was everyone else. When I looked at myself with those eyes I was hearing every nasty word hurled at me about my appearance and applied them to myself. I don't have a problem with me, everyone else does

Everyone else seems to be offended by my body, and that isn't my fucking problem, frankly. If you think I am disgusting and so seriously offensive, I'd advise you seek therapy instead of projecting onto me. After all, I'm not the one with the problem here. You think my fat is giving me massive health problems? I have no health problems stemming from my weight. I do, however, have self-esteem problems, and developed an eating disorder after being screamed at about my body for 17 years. My fat will kill me? Unlikely, though my former pack-a-day cigarette habit might. However, even if I develop some freak health problems related to my weight, it won't affect you in the slightest. I'll be the one that is sick, and no doubt the huge amount of tax I pay to the government will cover my medical bills. My weight, and my health, is none of your business, so you can kindly keep your nose out of my business, and everyone else's.

Accept and love your body for what it is, because it belongs to you and because of that it is special.


  1. Wow. Passionate post! It's strange- just as I thought that people were becoming more accepting of others, it turns out we might as well be right back in the dark ages! Maybe it's the artist in me, but I don't care what people look like because there is beauty in everyone. The only thing I find wrong with "fat people" is when their bodies become unhealthy due to weight gain- just like I think it's wrong when someone is unhealthily skinny.

    People should learn to love themselves and, if not, become who they want to be- not looks-wise, but acceptance-wise.

    Anyway, I love your posts. <3


  2. I think that society as a whole has moved on from some forms of discrimination and turned to others. I mean, there are forms of discrimination that are seem as socially acceptable - discrimination and hatred of smokers, or fat people who are clearly ill and need to be discriminated against for "their own good". It is the age of the socially acceptable discrimination, which means it is harder to stand up against, I think!

    Thanks for your comments though (both you, Eden, and Bittersweet). :) It is always nice to have comments! :D

  3. wow. what a powerful post. Fuel for thinking me thinks! well done on speaking up so amazingly. seriously love your posts xxxx