June 01, 2011

Kindness doesn't cost a thing

There was a time in my life when I hurt badly inside. I was fighting with my mental illness, and it was winning the battle. I hated myself and everything about myself, from my thoughts right down to the strands of hair on my head. When you hate yourself, it is very hard to love anything else, and I became an individual that was needlessly cruel, and delighted in it because I had nothing else to delight in. I said nasty things to people who didn’t deserve it (and to some who did, but shouldn’t have experienced it from me), regardless of whether those people were strangers or if they were friends. I lost many friends, the ones I had previously called my friends and the ones who might have become my friends in the future.

It was a long time ago, and things have changed a lot in my life. I talk freely about how I overcame my mental illness, turned my life around and came to the point I am now. I have also changed my outlook on life, and I believe I’ve found my calling in life, or at least the pursuit that will consume me over the next period of my life. I’ve decided that I am going to be kind, and spread kindness, because I believe kindness is lacking in this world. Maybe I am trying to make amends for the unkindness and cruelty I dealt in the past, or maybe I am trying to change the world a little bit.

I am the kind of person who looks around and sees sadness in everything. The kind of person who hears about someone drowning kittens in a trash can and sobs because they can’t believe such horrible cruelty exists in the world, and cannot comprehend how someone could have something in their heart so bad they could do something like that. I am an INFP or “Idealist Healer”. I think that means I am doomed to be miserable while trying to heal all the wrongs and hurts in the world. I’ve heard of people like that, enough to know I wish I wasn’t one of them. Idealists just end up getting hurt as they realise they can’t fix everything, but maybe they just have to be content with the things they do fix.

I did an act of kindness today. I didn’t save a litter of kittens, or run down a purse-snatcher, I just helped an elderly man who needed to see the seamstress next door who was closed. I took his clothes that needed mending, and told him I’d take care of it so he didn't have to come back tomorrow when she was open. That seamstress doesn’t often take work, and I warned him of that, but I think if she refuses to mend his clothes, I will do it for him. It is a small job, one I could do easily, and it wouldn’t cost me a thing except 10 minutes of my time.

Kindness often doesn’t cost a thing, and I think we can all afford to be kind.

1 comment:

  1. That's very kind of you!

    "Idealist Healer", I feel that I can relate to that. Some days I just get so down because the world has so much that I consider wrong with it, and I could help change that, but I feel like nobody is listening, nobody wants to change the world...it makes me cry quite often because the world is so cruel.

    I applaud you in your decision to spread kindness to those around you. That's fantastic :D Best of luck to you!