February 14, 2011

Throwing stones? How about I throw some back!

I have to say that one thing that really “gets my goat” is the idea that there are “real” self-injurers and “fake” self-injurers. The “real” self-injurers are the ones that don't want people to notice, and keep it close to their hearts. They're secretive and panic at the thought of someone ever finding out about their secret coping mechanism. The “fake” self-injurers are the ones that don't cover their wounds or scars, talk openly about it and just generally “seek attention”.

Why, pray tell, does “attention seeking” have this negative connotation? Of course they're bloody seeking attention, they're cutting themselves for frick's sake. They need help, and are asking it in maybe the only way they know how. Of course they need help. If you're cutting yourself, no matter for what reason, you need help. It isn't healthy behaviour and can have long effects, we all know this. So why is one self-injurer more worthy of help than another?

We all know that the reasons for self-injury are variable and individual, and often are very personal. My reasons for self-injuring are probably very different to yours, for example, and I can't pretend to know why you self-injure any more than you can pretend to know why I self-injure. So with that in mind, how can I look at someone who others would term an “attention seeker” and even have a guess at the motivations behind their actions? I can't, and neither can you or anyone else.

I think it is prudent to remember this when we consider judging anyone for their actions or decisions.


  1. I hate this idea too. It's been a long time since I stopped hiding my scars.

  2. I'm torn on this issue...and it relates to suicide attempts too. Maybe it's because I've had friends who draw things out for the attention (non-mental issues, but maybe they have mental issues.....I dunno) and so I'm sensitive to anyone acting in the same way. I think there is a big difference between "hey I made a mistake" and "hey look at what I've done". I agree we shouldn't judge. It's hard not to at times, I admit. It sucks all the way around.

  3. I agree whole heartedly with what you said, and i think you worded it really well. It was nicely put. My main problem is that i HUGELY disagree when it comes to the point of people posting pictures etc of self harm online, to get attention or whatever. It isnt the attention seeking that gets me, because like you said, this doesnt make their pain any less than someone elses, they just express theirs differently, and they seek to relieve it in a different way. I just am against the triggering of other people, and struggle to understand what people gain from it. We have a lot of the same ideas about the 'attention seeking' stigmas. IU did a post on it a while ago that you might want to read, but it was a while ago so i dont know if its worth you snooping around to find it. :) well done on this post, it was great. :) xxxx